Step II - Meet Me In The Lobby

Step Two – Meet Me In The Lobby

With relatives in town from Chicago my wife and I trooped up to Universal Studio’s amusement park for the full court press. We were in for a long day and an interesting surprise.

Despite being a native Angelino, or maybe because of it, I had never actually been to the park. The first thing to catch my eye was a sign at the window: tickets, $49. Right next to it was another sign: “Frontline” tickets, $99. It turns out that for double the price of a regular ticket you could get yourself a VIP tickets, which is worn around the neck like a pass, allowing you to go to the front of the line on any ride and get front row seats at any show. I thought that was a bit queer.

Don’t get me wrong, I know we live in the land of Nod where more money buys bigger steaks, finer clothes, faster cars, and fancier homes, but there is something fundamentally un-American about butting in line, especially at an amusement park, even if you have paid for the privilege.

Which brings me to the lobby industry. It isn’t so much reformation that is needed as collection; it should be picked up and thrown out with the rest of the trash.

There is absolutely nothing in the notion of free speech that implies the right of greater access to legislators for those who can afford a VIP ticket, which is exactly what lobbyists provide. With seemingly unlimited funds, lobbyists successfully persuade legislators to favor their clients, clients that can be as diverse as the military/industrial complex, the teachers union, the NRA, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, an Indian nation, the tobacco industry, agriculture, teamsters, or fire fighters – anyone who wants to influence legislators and can afford the lobbyist’s fee. Those who haven’t the price of that VIP ticket are forced to wait patiently at the end of the line. By the time they get to the front the congressional ride is often closed.

To make matters even stickier, it has become common practice for men and women to dance back and forth between elected office, top-level government jobs, corporate chairmanships, and lobby posts, holding sway over the nation’s law-makers. Dick Cheney was Secretary of Defense under George H.W. Bush, then CEO of Haliburton, now Vice President under George W. Bush. How surprising is it that Haliburton was given a multi-billion dollar, no-bid contracts for work in Iraq – no questions asked. It is a small, exclusive club.

Like hungry termites, they eat away the foundation of democracy, placing the entire structure in danger of crumbling. Lobbyists are little more than opportunistic carpetbaggers, bribing lawmakers with promises of campaign contributions, golf trips, and trinkets of even lesser value. If Congress wishes to create even the illusion of fair play, the whole lobby industry must be rethought. A real K Street Project would ban lobbying altogether.

One foot on either side.

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