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Andrew Wallenstein, top TV critic for the Hollywood Reporter and NPR, did a very interesting review yesterday of the upcoming fall season, especially his denigration of the networks’ use of old celebrities in new series. He did miss one or two points.

The success of any show - TV, movie, play, whatever - is an iffy prospect at best. You can spend lots of time and money putting together the most talented actors in town and the most imaginative production team in the business, and still end up with a flop (see: Ishtar). So if the networks want to try and hedge their multi-million dollar bets by using popular celebrities, maybe we should cut them a little slack.

Besides, I’m not quite clear on what it is Mr. Wallenstein would like actors to do after starring in a successful series. Should they just disappear? After all, they have spent a certain amount of time learning their craft, paying their dues, as it were, collecting multiple scabs on their knees getting famous. Should they, like aging athletes, simply retire from the field, perhaps look for a product to endorse? Or would he be more comfortable if they just stayed at home and waited for a call from Dancing With The Stars?

I notice that Mr. Wallenstein has a masters in journalism (you gotta love the internet). No doubt his parents are very proud. But I’m guessing he’s never actually stepped on a stage himself, never read a line, never written one, never directed anything, never risked a fragile ego on the whim of an audience. He’s like the guy who sits on the beach sipping margaritas and joking with the pretty girls, opining on the nuances of surfing, while the surfers bob up and down in the water, half a mile out, struggling with twenty foot waves and ten foot sharks.

My suggestion to Mr. Wallenstein is that before he writes any more reviews, perhaps he should actually try the surf. It isn’t as safe as the beach, but it isn’t quite so full of sand either.

A foot on either side.

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