MIXED BAG

"Retarded," which is actually a shortening of the phrase, "mentally retarded," has been replaced in polite conversation by "mentally challenged." I never much cared for that phrase. It sounds to me less like someone with a development problem and more like someone with a discipline problem; like if they would just pay attention they would be okay.

That didn't stop Elizabeth Hasselbeck, the ultra-conservative co-host of The View, from dissing presidential chief-of-staff Rahm Emanuel, who apparently used the R word in a private conversation at the White House. Hasselbeck, a survivor of Survivor and a co-host on the show since 2003, was outraged that he would use such a word, and demanded that he be fired ... if not hung. I guess she didn't get the memo about free speech, especially in private conversations. If she really wants to hear some tasteless, private, White House conversations she should get a copy of the Nixon tapes.

Frankly, I don't think she cares a whit about that word; what she really cares about is the chance to point an accusing finger at this administration and say, Ooh, you guys pretend to be so liberal and so socially conscious, but I caught you doing something "bad." Because, of course, Ms. Hasselbeck sees the world in black and white, where everything is either good or bad.

Two popular phrases in my youth were: "You Jewed him down," and, "He gypped me." Should we erase the words Jew and gypsy from the lexicon because they are occasionally used as invectives? I think we should try and muddle through.

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The crossword puzzle in the Times used to be a nice way to wile away an hour or so, though I must say, lately it's gotten so difficult that the fun is gone. And just to put the icing on the cake, they've moved it. It's still on the second-to-the-last page in the Calendar section, but it used to be below the fold. You could fold the paper across, then fold it up-and-down, and be left with a nice, compact unit that you could hold in one hand whilst you held your pen in the other. Now some friggin' moron has moved it up a couple of inches, so that half of it is above the fold and half is below. You can't fold it nice and neat any more. Is it me, or ARE THESE GUYS NUTS!?

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The CEO of Toyota America appeared on Today yesterday, trying to explain away "unexpected acceleration," a euphemism if ever I heard one. Matt Lauer asked pointed questions - what did you know and when did you know it - and the CEO answered politely, though he looked to me like a pig roasting on a spit. The man was sweating bullets.

I'm not quite sure what everyone is so upset about. Driving is dangerous. 50,000 people are killed on the road every year. If Toyota was really upset, they'd make cars with a top speed of only 65 mph, which would save about 40,000 of those 50,000 lives. Of course, they probably wouldn't sell as many cars, and that would make them even more upset. Hey, these are tough choices.