MAD MEL

Some days I sit around thinking, “Ooh, I’d like to be a movie star. Let’s see, who would I like to be? How about Mel Gibson?” Whoops! Not today.

Tell you the truth, I find it difficult to hate Mel. Hyperbolic, vitriolic, anti-semitic bullshit aside, he seems like a nice guy. He has that manly persona, that great movie-star essence, that thing you can’t put your finger on but you know it when you see it. Hell, if he had called my name from the screen during Braveheart, I would have followed him into battle. He’s a hell of an actor, though apparently not a very good drinker.

But hey, give the devil his due, whatever it takes to call a female sheriff “sugar-tits,” drunk or sober, I don’t have it, though I’m not sure how you call anyone sugar-tits who is encased in a bullet-proof vest.

There are a couple of things about his anti-semitic remarks that I find puzzling. First of all, if you’re going to hate Jews, pick another business. Just about everything in the film industry is owned by Jews, always has been. An actor hating Jews would be like a hit-man hating Italians. The difference, of course, is that the Italians I’m thinking of would cut you off at the knees send you to sleep with the fishes, and put your kids in public school. Jews would just make you feel guilty.

The other thing is his comment about Jews causing all the wars in the world. He must think we’re some tough-ass buckaroos. Jews are a fraction of 1% of the world’s population. Though Israel has been known to get tough from time to time – this being one of them – their military actions have always been restricted to their immediate Arab neighbors, and usually after being attacked first. That hardly makes Jews world wide warriors.

Melvin may have put the b in bigot, but he does get points for apologizing, which is more than I can say for the Sheriff’s Department that allegedly “sanitized” the arrest record (see TMZ.com).

So, here’s what I think should happen: Revoke his license permanently. Assign a Hassidic Rabbi to be his driver. That seems fair.

A foot on either side.

1 XCZR