WELL DEVEVLOPED

Rick Caruso, the developer/owner of The Grove shopping mall, explained his personal philosophy of developing retail property in an article he wrote for the Times that ran this morning. Putting aside for a moment its phenomenally self-serving, self-congratulatory tone, my question is, what the hell was this “ad” doing in the editorial section of Los Angeles’s most influential newspaper (not counting La Opinion).

Am I to believe that the best minds in the country are pouring over the Iraq Study Group Report, desperately scrambling to figure how best to extract our troops from this ill-considered adventure, but the Times has nothing better to put in its editorial section than this love letter from Rick Caruso to himself? I respect Mr. Caruso’s right of free speech, as well as the right of The Times to run advertising, I just think it should be labeled as such.

Caruso’s assertion that The Grove is successful because it connects “wandering” Americans with some sense of real community is pure invention. The Grove may be warmer and fuzzier than standard shopping malls, but it isn’t real. People interested in a sense of real community gather a hundred yards to the west at Farmers Market. Every day you can find pretty much the same people having lunch at Charlie’s in the West Patio. That’s community.

The Grove is deceptively unreal. Like Main Street at Disneyland, The Grove is a pre-fabricated, synthetic version of an American experience that existed once, but survives now only in memory. Rick Caruso is using that memory not to keep people connected or make them feel better, but to turn a profit. I have nothing against the pursuit of profit, I just think it should be labeled as such.

I actually enjoy The Grove. I think the computer-driven fountain, which ejaculates fifty foot high spurts of water in sync with Dean Martin singing Amore is a bit over the top, but people seem to like it. The down side, of course, is The Grove’s 5,000 space parking structure. Usually pretty full, on the weekends it is totally full. While money pours into cash registers, traffic pours into and out of The Grove. For a mile in every direction, every major street is clogged with bumper-to-bumper traffic, turning neighborhood errands into Homeric journeys. It takes a little of the edge off that warm and fuzzy feeling.

“It’s rewarding,” Caruso writes, “when people want to go to my developments because they need to spend hundreds of dollars, but what really thrills me is when people go to merely hang out.” A lovely sentiment, but, like The Grove itself, a synthetic creation intended entirely for public consumption. If the majority of Grove visitors did nothing but hang out, Rick Caruso and co. would be hung out to dry.

A foot on either side.

B. Louis Braverman

MINION

The Iraq Study Group released its final report today. There were few surprises. The aging minion made a brief presentation, then answered questions from reporters. TV and radio talk show hosts spoke of little else all day.

Tell you the truth, I wasn’t a very good student, but as I recall, of the few study groups I actually attended, most of them were held before the test. That seemed to be the whole idea. The 800 pound gorilla in today’s press conference was the unasked question: Where the hell was this group before the war. Aren’t you supposed to ask these strategic and philosophical what-ifs before you commit men to battle, before you condem families to a lifetime of mourning? Where was the apology for their late arrival, either from them or from the president?

The executive summary of the report states in part: “Our most important recommendations call for new and enhanced diplomatic and political efforts in Iraq and the region, and a change in the primary mission of U.S. forces in Iraq that will enable the United States to begin to move its combat forces out of Iraq responsibly.” In other words, it’s time to sit down at the table, get our boys off the battlefield, and get ‘em home.

It also says, “If (these recommendations) are effectively implemented, and if the Iraqi government moves forward with national reconciliation, Iraqis will have an opportunity for a better future, terrorism will be dealt a blow, stability will be enhanced in an important part of the world, and America’s credibility, interests, and values will be protected.” I’d say that’s a might big “if”. This next “if” looks more realistic: “If the situation continues to deteriorate, the consequences could be severe. A slide toward chaos could trigger the collapse of Iraq’s government and a humanitarian catastrophe. Neighboring countries could intervene. Sunni-Shia clashes could spread. Al Qaeda could win a propaganda victory and expand its base of operations. The global standing of the United States could be diminished. Americans could become more polarized.”

This is a pivotal moment in American history. I’m sure there is a joke to be made, but I don’t see it. Stay connected, stay on top of this story. Help your country move in the right direction. Your voice counts.

A foot on either side.

B. Louis Braverman

BALLS

It’s not easy, being the new guy on the block, especially when your block is the U.S. Senate. But some manage to do it with a little more dignity than others.

Incoming Senator Jim Webb of Virginia was attending a function in Washington, D.C. when President Bush stepped up to him and said, “How’s your boy doin’?” The president knew, as do most people who followed Mr. Webb’s campaign, that he has a son serving in Iraq, a son he deeply loves and worries about.

“Well, Mr. President,” said the freshman senator, “I’m hoping you’ll be bringing him home soon.”

The president was not amused. He took umbrage to Webb’s comment. Standing his ground he said, “That wasn’t my question. My question was, how’s your boy doin’!”

By now, everyone within hearing realized that the protocol had hit the fan. There was a sudden silence in the room. Webb, in an exceptional display of poise and backbone replied, “That’s between my boy and me.”

The president, understadably flustered, walked away.

Now that's balls. I’ll be looking for good things from Senator Webb in the future.

One foot on either side.

B. Louis Braverman